In a candid exploration of female sexuality, a recent column from Slate addresses the challenges some women face regarding orgasm. A reader, identifying herself as a cis woman in her early 40s, shared her struggle with achieving orgasm due to the fear of excessive fluid release during climax. Her experiences have led to discomfort not only for herself but also for her partners, contributing to a sense of shame and confusion around her sexual experiences.
The reader, who signed her letter as “Rode Hard and Put Back Wet,” described her journey of sexual exploration over nearly 30 years. Despite being well-educated about sexuality and identifying as sex-positive, she has only achieved orgasm fewer than five times. Each time has been accompanied by a significant release of fluid, which she describes as “a waterfall,” leading to embarrassment and anxiety about intimacy.
Breaking Down the Experience
Rode Hard’s concerns highlight broader issues related to female sexuality, particularly the stigma surrounding female ejaculation or squirting. In her response, sex educators Stoya and Rich emphasized the subjective nature of squirting. Not all women experience it in the same way, and there are varying types of squirters. Some may release fluid during intense pleasure, while others may not. The educators urged Rode Hard to consider that she might be squirting in her unique way, which could alleviate some of her worries about how others perceive her body’s responses.
The advice included practical solutions to manage the fluid release. For instance, Lola Jean, a recognized sex educator, suggested using protective materials such as puppy pads or waterproof blankets during sexual activity. This could help mitigate the concern over mess, allowing for a more enjoyable experience. Additionally, both educators discussed techniques for redirecting sensations that might lead to squirting, such as changing the type of stimulation or engaging in different sexual positions.
Embracing Sexual Expression
The column also addressed the importance of acceptance and self-exploration in achieving a fulfilling sex life. The educators stressed that understanding one’s body and its responses can lead to greater freedom in sexual experiences. For Rode Hard, this means letting go of the fear of judgment and embracing her body’s natural reactions. They suggested that she continue exploring her sexuality in private settings, like in a bathtub, to foster a sense of comfort and safety.
The conversation surrounding female orgasm and ejaculation is complex, intertwining physical sensations with psychological barriers. The column encourages women to engage in open discussions about their experiences, helping to destigmatize these topics. This approach not only aids individuals like Rode Hard but also contributes to a broader cultural understanding of female pleasure.
As societal perceptions of female sexuality evolve, it remains crucial for women to feel empowered to express their desires without fear. Through education, communication, and acceptance, achieving fulfilling sexual experiences can become a reality for many.
