Marc Brackett, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, has released a new book titled “Dealing with Feeling”. The book aims to equip readers with essential skills for understanding and managing their emotions. This work follows Brackett’s first book, “Permission to Feel,” published in 2019, which focused on the importance of emotional intelligence.
In “Dealing with Feeling,” Brackett emphasizes the significance of emotional regulation, a skill he believes is critical for personal well-being and interpersonal relationships. He states, “It was very important to write a whole book just on one skill, which was to help people learn how to regulate their own emotions, but also importantly, how to engage in healthy co-regulation.” This concept involves assisting others in managing their feelings as well.
The book opens with a vision of a world where everyone effectively regulates their emotions. Brackett then explores why such regulation remains a foreign concept to many. He provides insights into what emotional regulation entails and discusses current attitudes towards emotions. The narrative culminates in numerous chapters dedicated to practical strategies for emotional regulation.
Brackett defines emotional regulation as a set of learned, intentional skills that help individuals manage their feelings in a way that aligns with their goals and values. He acknowledges the challenges he faced while writing, admitting, “I’m a much better storyteller when I’m on stage than I am sitting around thinking about a story to tell.” Throughout the writing process, he applied the very regulation strategies he describes, such as self-talk, seeking social support, and engaging in physical activity.
Brackett credits his colleagues, Karen Niemi and Robin Stern, for their support during the book’s development. Niemi emphasized the need for a practical, relatable approach, stating, “We had never-ending cycles of discussions on how to frame the information to strike a delicate balance in adding humor, relatability and research.” Stern added that they aimed to create a reflective space for readers, noting Brackett’s ability to blend personal anecdotes with scientific evidence.
The motivation behind “Dealing with Feeling” stems from Brackett’s desire to reach a broader audience with valuable information about emotional regulation. He explained, “Because there were only so many places I could go in one week, the only way I thought to do that was I had to write a book.”
Brackett has outlined three primary goals for the impact of his latest work. First, he hopes readers recognize the importance of emotion regulation in various aspects of life, including health, academic performance, and workplace success. Second, he wants to convey that emotional regulation is a skill that can be learned and improved through practice. His final goal, which he describes as “audacious,” is for people to redefine success based on emotional management rather than material achievements. He asserts, “If we define our success by how skillful we are at managing life’s ups and downs and at helping other people to do the same, the world will be a very different place.”
The concept of emotional intelligence was originally developed by Peter Salovey, former president of Yale University, and continues to influence discussions in psychology and education. Brackett’s work builds on this foundation, offering practical guidance for harnessing the power of emotions in everyday life.
