An 18-year-long relationship has taken a troubling turn for one couple, as emotional distance and stress eating threaten to dismantle their bond. The woman, who remains unnamed, expressed her feelings in a letter to the widely-read advice column “Dear Abby,” revealing her concerns about the lack of intimacy and affection in her partnership.
In her letter, the woman described her boyfriend as having always been less empathetic than she desired. Despite being together for nearly two decades, the couple has never formalized their relationship through marriage. This absence of commitment has led to feelings of isolation for her, particularly as her boyfriend has consistently failed to acknowledge her emotional needs, such as not buying gifts or offering physical comfort.
Struggles with Intimacy and Self-Image
Recent years have only compounded her dissatisfaction. She shared that she has turned to emotional eating as a coping mechanism, resulting in significant weight gain. The impact on their physical relationship has been notable; the couple has not been intimate in over six months, leading her to question her self-worth and the state of their relationship.
She recalled a time when her boyfriend would give her massages, which provided a sense of closeness. Now, she feels as though they are akin to strangers. “Where’s the love?” she questions, highlighting her desire to rekindle the emotional connection that has seemingly faded.
In response, Abigail Van Buren, the author of “Dear Abby,” offered insight into the situation. She advised that the woman should approach her boyfriend during a calm moment to discuss their relationship openly. Starting with a question about his happiness could pave the way for a more profound conversation about their issues.
Seeking Resolution or Closure
Van Buren emphasized the importance of addressing longstanding issues. She stated that couples typically do not avoid marriage without significant underlying reasons. Once the boyfriend shares his perspective, the woman should express her feelings of loneliness and isolation. If both individuals are willing to work on their relationship, there may still be a chance for improvement.
However, Van Buren warned that if the boyfriend continues to exhibit the same patterns of emotional distance, it may be prudent for the woman to reconsider her options. The advice column concluded with a gentle reminder that one should not suffer from a lack of affection, as it can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as emotional eating.
The “Dear Abby” column, created by Pauline Phillips and now written by her daughter Jeanne Phillips, has provided guidance on personal matters for decades. Readers seeking advice can contact the column through its website or mailing address in Los Angeles, CA.
